In a meeting with three staff members today to try to mediate a faculty structural problem, one colleague spoke about a method she used when she found herself constantly knocking heads with another colleague, and living with huge strain as a result. Quite simply, she decided that she would yield.
She found the space between the fixed position she and her colleague were occupying, and decided that she would focus on exploring the space, and work there.
The interesting question : does this mean that she gave up her position, versakked, lost the battle? Not really. What she did required terrific listening and an understanding of her own and her colleague's position, not a judgement of it, in order to find the space in which she could work. Maybe this strategy isn't always going to give what each party would agree is the best solution, but it might enable movement.
Yielding as a practice resonates with me as a coach in training, as it speaks to a way to work through stuckness. Recently when I have been feeling continually anxious, I have not termed it "yielding", but I have accepted that I must learn sit with these uncomfortable feelings, to understand better where they come from. In doing so, in gaining insight, movement and progress happen. It is a really funny pheneomenon. It's like every time I get passionate and impatient with wanting something that is making me upset or angry to go away, or pass, if I practice just sitting with it, something eventually shifts. It seems you can't treat emotional, cognitive or somatic issues symptomatically, and wish them away. The yielding way seems to be a way forward, just not on the path you were so fixated on as the only solution. And in yielding it seems there is plenty of insight to be gained.
Spin class with Tarquin tonight was absolutely awesome. First time I manage a whole hour on the bike, and I will be back. Especially when the final five minutes play out to a soulful Papa was a rolling stone....
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